My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
