you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
