I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
