Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
