guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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