i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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