What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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