you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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