The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize