You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
