So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
