did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
