i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
