Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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