member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
