Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
