there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
