I just found puke in my bra..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize