It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
