Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
