I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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