Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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