just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize