Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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