I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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