i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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