does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
