beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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