I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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