literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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