I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
