Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
