i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
