Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
