Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
