sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i need some magic done to my vagina
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
