I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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