The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
