a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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