just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
