I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
