you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
How's work?
Spinning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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