Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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