Duck Duck Cougar?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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