Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
