Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
