Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
