Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
we're so committed to being not committed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
