We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
