Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
