I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
