don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
