Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
