Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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