Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
