Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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