he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
love makes seman taste better
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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