you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
